Things are better...

Things are going much better with Smitten. I saw him 3 times last week(!) and already saw him yesterday (he came to see my current show last night). Lots of down time – chilling out and cuddling and watching movies, a good break from our previous very formal dates. He even brought up V-Day – I was talking about how I wished I could see him in a suit (he was saying how swank his suit is) and he said that either the Saturday before V-Day or the Saturday after we’d have to dress up. “It’s not a weeknight thing,” he said. And I still get the impression we’ll spend V-Day together, but it’ll be probably low-key (which is fine by me, especially with a fancy thing on the weekend) so I don’t think he’s pulling the wool over my eyes. So that’s good. He also invited me to something on St. Paddys (which I unfortunately can’t do), but that’s 2 months away—a very good sign.

Yesterday was a little awkward—all my friends came and he was pretty quiet afterward, not his usual chipper self. But he did say he was feeling under-the-weather, so I’m not jumping to conclusions. He didn’t bring me flowers, though. *sigh* But oh well. I can’t get EVERYTHING I want.

I guess all my issues with him are really just internal. I can’t really relax and be myself around a guy until I know he is totally smitten with me. And Smitten isn’t super forthcoming about that stuff. Not like he has to be—we’ve only known each other 2 months. But it’s so much slower than any of my other relationships, I just can’t deal. I get nervous about every little thing, with little-to-no cause (like my current freak out about yesterday’s awkwardness. “Does he still like me? Will he break up with me now?” – Total ridiculousness). Thankfully, though, I’m pretty sure none of this is coming out with him. I’m just playing it cool—and we do have fun together, so that’s easy. Note to self: CHILL OUT!

Sloooooooooow and steady?

Things with Smitten are going well... but slowly. Very slowly. Painfully slowly (especially in comparison to IBF). We did not exchange Xmas presents (I didn't want to bring it up, though I did buy him something. He didn't mention it, so I didn't give him the book I purchased. I guess if we're still together on Valentine's Day...).

Had a pretty great New Years. I met his friends--we all seemed to like each other. He met my friends-- they all seemed to like him. So that was good.

We now have this pattern of seeing each other 1x a week, for about 24 hours. Usually Sat afternoon-Sun afternoon. Plus 2-3 email exchanges a week. Not much. He doesn't really feel like my boyfriend--he doesn't call, like, ever, or ever want to get together during the week. And I don't want to bring it up--I don't want to be pushy or whatever. What's weird, though, is that in every other relationship I've had, the guy has always been the one to say "I don't see you enough! When can we get together? I miss you!" So I'm not sure how to deal with this problem. And all those stupid dating books (which yes, I admit to reading) are no help. They all say the same thing: "date other people!" but I a) do not want to do that, and b) have already agreed to exclusivity, so that's out. Any ideas for how to get him to want to see me more often? I'd hate to think he's just not that into me... (But he does contact me 2-3 times a week, and almost always initiates weekend plans, so I don't think that's totally the case...)

I've been trying not to blog, since I really like this guy and would die if he found this thing. But I'm so friggin neurotic about him that I need a place to vent. So... expect more posts, perhaps?