I haven't been posting, because, well, there hasn't been anything to post about. Haven't heard a word from Smitten since the breakup, though his phone calls me, accidentally, about once a month. I can hear him talking to people in the background. It leaves long messages and fills up my voicemail. The first few times I thought "oh! he's calling me!!" and rushed to the phone. Now I know I probably never hear from him again. I'm sure it's for the best--I've been having a tough time getting over this one, though it does seem to be happening, with recent developments:

--Had a fling with a cute Brit a few weeks ago. Adorable -- and the accent.... but he went back to the UK.

--Mostly been busy rehearsing, so I haven't met anyone new. But something does seem to be happening with one of the guys I see at the theater often. We don't have much to say to each other, he's totally unsuitable for a dating prospect, and I don't really think we're all that compatible. But the other night we kissed... and... woah. The way he touches me--I've never felt anything like it. He's gentle and warm, and, I guess what's so surprising is that, though there is some sexual tension there, his touch is completely free from lust. Like when he touches my arm, it's to touch my arm, not to touch my arm so that I won't object if he touches my breasts (of course the lack of.. urgency, I guess, turns me on beyond anything I've ever experienced). I don't know if that makes any sense. But I can't stop thinking about him. I just want to be near him so that he could possibly touch me again. I do see him pretty often, but there seems to be this unspoken agreement between us that nothing is to be mentioned, said, done, in front of anyone from the theater. Which is okay with me -- I'm not in a rush to head into another relationship again, anyway. Just as long as he can touch me again.