Realization

I think (hope) I've finally gotten a handle on this Smitten thing. I had a realization: he's not my boyfriend.

I really think that's where the trouble is. Because we are calling each other BF/GF, I'm expecting a set of behavior from him. Calls, emails checking in, seeing each other 2-3x a week. I'm not getting that. So I've been unhappy.

But it's not even been 3 months since we've met. And because I always insist on exclusivity before sleeping with someone, he agreed to that. But if I hadn't done that, we'd probably still just be dating, at this point, and I'd be just as neurotic, wondering if he's my BF or not.

So I've decided, mentally, that he's not. Not until he starts acting like a BF. Does this mean I'm going to see other people? Of course not. But it does mean that I'm going to expect nothing, just as if he were some guy I've been non-exclusively dating for a couple months. If I hear from him, bonus. If I don't, oh well.

This new attitude has already served me well. Last night my phone beeped with a text message. Last week I would have jumped to it, thinking "is it him?" Instead, I assumed it was a friend of mine, went to check it, and was pleasantly surprized to find that it was Smitten, checking in on me. By not expecting anything from him, I can only be happy when I hear from him, not disappointed when I don't.