New Experiences with Tall Ted
Tall Ted and I had a date last night. It was fun--ended up having a blast. The details:
We met up in midtown and headed to a cute Turkish place. Cheap, great food. (For any of you guys out there that argue you don't pay for a date's dinner because you don't want to date a golddigger, follow this guy's lead: he paid, but the dinner set him back all of 40 bucks. And it was great. And if I were a golddigger, that would be enough to put me off. But I'm not.) But because it was so early, we decided not to call it a night just yet. He's a ballroom dancer, and I love to swing dance, so we ended up at my fav Country Western bar, and two-stepped and swing danced. I loooooooove dancing--and any guy who can lead is a total winner in my book.
On the date, we kissed quite a bit. Not bad. Though it was strange--he's so much taller than I am that I actually got a crick in my neck while making out. This has never happened before. What a strange experience. And I was in heels too!
He's total BF Potential, but I am a bit nervous about one thing: he grew up in the suburbs--and wants to return there! I have no interest in ever living in the suburbs. I think I'd kill myself if I had to live there. This was why Jersey Shore Boy and I broke up--we couldn't figure out what to do--he didn't want to live in Manhattan, I can't live in Jersey. And Tall Ted says he wants to raise kids in the suburbs. Yuck. I wonder how much he means that? Because that's a deal breaker for me...
We met up in midtown and headed to a cute Turkish place. Cheap, great food. (For any of you guys out there that argue you don't pay for a date's dinner because you don't want to date a golddigger, follow this guy's lead: he paid, but the dinner set him back all of 40 bucks. And it was great. And if I were a golddigger, that would be enough to put me off. But I'm not.) But because it was so early, we decided not to call it a night just yet. He's a ballroom dancer, and I love to swing dance, so we ended up at my fav Country Western bar, and two-stepped and swing danced. I loooooooove dancing--and any guy who can lead is a total winner in my book.
At the Turkish place, the lady at the next table bought us a round of drinks (something new!). When Tall Ted went to the bathroom, I thanked her, and she began asking questions. "Where are you from?" "Where is he from?" "Is this your first time out together?" "He's shy, isn't he?" I answered all her questions politiely.
On the date, we kissed quite a bit. Not bad. Though it was strange--he's so much taller than I am that I actually got a crick in my neck while making out. This has never happened before. What a strange experience. And I was in heels too!
He's total BF Potential, but I am a bit nervous about one thing: he grew up in the suburbs--and wants to return there! I have no interest in ever living in the suburbs. I think I'd kill myself if I had to live there. This was why Jersey Shore Boy and I broke up--we couldn't figure out what to do--he didn't want to live in Manhattan, I can't live in Jersey. And Tall Ted says he wants to raise kids in the suburbs. Yuck. I wonder how much he means that? Because that's a deal breaker for me...
posted by Pretty Polly at 1:51 PM
11 Comments:
Glad you had a good time.
Most of the time you can find a good medium on living arrangements. What I have seen most of the time the female wins on where to live unless there are job issues.
He sounds like a really great guy for you. I don't think that you should give up on him because of the "kids in the burbs" thing- it's a bit premature to be thinking about marriage and kids right now, surely?!?
And besides- you are young right now, and will do a WHOLE lot of changing your mind before you get to the point when you want to have kids. I can attest to it myself- when I was 26, I was sure I would never get married, and was happy with it for the most part. I was living in the center of London, partying with my single girlfriends and talking about how I would NEVER have kids. Fast forward 8 years later- I have a husband of three years, we live in the suburbs,and I am looking up articles on conceiving and meeting up with fertility doctors! I know it's hard to imagine now, but you may not always want to live in Manhattan, trust me. Life has a funny way of constantly causing you to change your mind and re-assess your feelings on things....
beau-- Whenever I see that name I think of my 2nd grade crush. Ahh, those were the days... This tall kissing is a new experience for me--I'm over 6' in heels, so it's never been an issue before. But I think I'm too big to be picked up.... ;)
Anon/Kevin-- I grew up in a big city on the West Coast, in the city, not in the suburbs. I loved it. I loved the open-mindedness, how everyone accepted you for who you were, how you couldn't shock anyone. I could never live in the suburbs. I know that lifestyle works for a lot of people, but not me. I can't see myself living in one of those communities, being so far from arts and culture, and having my kids grow up in a falsely-insulated world. My core values are diametrically opposed to suburban ones. (And, being an actress, it would be beyond difficult to try to get to auditions and work if I lived so far away). I would be happy to live way out in the country though, but the whole suburban planned community thing doesn't really fly with me. Again, this is not a judgement on other people's choices, just what's important to me. But since my last BF and I broke up over that issue, I'm not really up for leaping into another relationship where I know that's going to be a problem...
Girl, you are getting ahead of yourself. Thinking about cutting a guy off after the first day because he mentions suburbs and kids??
He should get a second date for just being taller than you (esp. taller than you in heels).
I can appreciate what you are saying now, believe me. I loved city life too, London is a FANTASTIC city. But I will guarantee that when you get married the focus comes off of "ME" and becomes "US", and "WE". Your values will change- you will want a calmer, greener place to raise your children, where they will have friends to play with and good schools to go to. By that time, maybe you will have accomplished alot in your career, and maybe acting won't be as high on your priority list anymore? Like I said, I know these are hard things to imagine right now. And I'm not trying to change your mind! My point is that you might not want to discount the guy because he would like to raise a family in a more kid-friendly place, and it's way too "early days" to do that anyway! Good luck, in whatever you do- I look forward to reading more.
He sounds like a potential, I'd say stop worrying about the questions and go with it for now.
It's seems I've sparked a total debate!
Of course I'm going on a 2nd date with him. Not even a question of that. I'm just putting out my big concern--and it is a big concern because of how my last relationship ended. In the first weeks of dating Jersey Shore Boy I figured this out, only to say "ah, just go with it." 2.5 years later we broke up over it. I'd rather not go through that again, if possible!
And anon, I totally hear ya (London rocks, btw, I'd move there in a heartbeat!). But since I grew up in a big city, went to some of the best-ranked urban public schools, had tons of friends, and easily got into my dream college, I don't think that the suburban life is best for kids. I certainly don't think growing up in a big city is any worse. My parents both grew up in big cities too (my dad grew up in NYC). So our family values are very city-centric. And while I know people and values change, this is so much a part of my core person that it can't change without radically altering all of my beliefs--basically, it's not going to happen.
But all this is moot anyway, since there will be a date 2!
I get irritated by the widespread assumption that eventually, everyone decides they want the suburban house (that's identical to all the others on the street) with the picket fence and the yard and the dog, etc, like it's something we're supposed to do, and to want to have a family anywhere else is selfish and wrong. I grew up in midwest suburbs and found it constricting, judgmental, dull, and ultimately not the best thing for my self-esteem as a teenager. If I had it to do again, I'd have loved to have spent my childhood in an urban setting, and to have had access to all that offers.
Having a lawn and a big house to fill up with consumeristic crap is not the end-all, be-all of the meaning of life.
So where is this dancable country-western bar? I'm curious...
It sucks to have a deal breaker right off but that much tougher when it's not a definite, going to happen deal breaker.
But OMG, so jealous about height;)
Oh brother! You've only been out a couple of times, right? Just see where this goes! And who knows -- he might change his mind about the 'burbs by then! :)
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