Daily Contact
Tall Ted and Web Walter have both opted for the everyday contact approach (a far cry from the wait 3+ days to contact rule--BTW, the actor who got my # a week and a half ago called last night. What the?).
Web Walter and I now have a nightly IM routine. He's on AIM almost constantly, and when I get home we generally have a sweet conversation. Last night he said he wanted to talk on the phone instead, and we chatted till 3 AM!! It's so easy to talk to him--and I'm most assuredly not a phone person at all, so this was actually quite an accomplishment. He told me that he is smitten with me--and I think I'm getting there with him. We're both eagerly anticipating our date on Saturday.
They both sent text messages to me today at 2:30. I think this is hysterical, because it only highlights the differences between them.
From Tall Ted: "Just sayin' hi. Hope you're enjoying this gorgeous day outside. I'm stuck in the office. I want ice cream but can't leave because of meetings and work. It sucks."
From Web Walter: a cute photo of him smiling at me (no, not an anatomy shot! Dirty minds...) with the caption "pour vous"
Since I'm feeling more and more smitten with Web Walter myself, I think I have to do something about the Tall Ted situation. He's also adorable, a gentleman, totally sweet. But I don't seem to have quite the connection I have with Web Walter. We don't have a scheduled third date yet (though not from lack of trying on his part), so I think, depending on how things go on Saturday, I may have to shoot an uncomfortable email his way. Though I was debating making stuff up, I think the truth is the best way to go. Something like:
Though you're one of the most amazing guys I've ever met, I don't think I can continue seeing you romantically. Right around our first date, I had another first date with someone that I seem to really connect with--and I have to pursue it. Which really sucks, because I'm totally attracted to you and think you're an amazing catch. Just my luck--no guys in my life for months, and now two? Typical.
Anyway, I didn't want to let things go any further like this--it's always the sooner the better with these things, and you're too great a guy for me to pull the fade. If you're interested in being friends, I'd love to take you out to lunch (or go dancing!), but if not, I totally understand.
Is that too much? I know I'm being a bit premature, but this is weighing heavily on my mind...
Web Walter and I now have a nightly IM routine. He's on AIM almost constantly, and when I get home we generally have a sweet conversation. Last night he said he wanted to talk on the phone instead, and we chatted till 3 AM!! It's so easy to talk to him--and I'm most assuredly not a phone person at all, so this was actually quite an accomplishment. He told me that he is smitten with me--and I think I'm getting there with him. We're both eagerly anticipating our date on Saturday.
They both sent text messages to me today at 2:30. I think this is hysterical, because it only highlights the differences between them.
From Tall Ted: "Just sayin' hi. Hope you're enjoying this gorgeous day outside. I'm stuck in the office. I want ice cream but can't leave because of meetings and work. It sucks."
From Web Walter: a cute photo of him smiling at me (no, not an anatomy shot! Dirty minds...) with the caption "pour vous"
Since I'm feeling more and more smitten with Web Walter myself, I think I have to do something about the Tall Ted situation. He's also adorable, a gentleman, totally sweet. But I don't seem to have quite the connection I have with Web Walter. We don't have a scheduled third date yet (though not from lack of trying on his part), so I think, depending on how things go on Saturday, I may have to shoot an uncomfortable email his way. Though I was debating making stuff up, I think the truth is the best way to go. Something like:
Though you're one of the most amazing guys I've ever met, I don't think I can continue seeing you romantically. Right around our first date, I had another first date with someone that I seem to really connect with--and I have to pursue it. Which really sucks, because I'm totally attracted to you and think you're an amazing catch. Just my luck--no guys in my life for months, and now two? Typical.
Anyway, I didn't want to let things go any further like this--it's always the sooner the better with these things, and you're too great a guy for me to pull the fade. If you're interested in being friends, I'd love to take you out to lunch (or go dancing!), but if not, I totally understand.
Is that too much? I know I'm being a bit premature, but this is weighing heavily on my mind...
posted by Pretty Polly at 6:21 PM
13 Comments:
Hi - unsolicited opinion here ...
I think that the email you have prepared is an EXCELLENT response to the situation. Actually I think it's perfect. It shows you have class!
You are being honest, direct, and complimentary. What more could a person want?
And the offer of friendship is totally gracious of you. If I were on the receiving end of that email, I would hate to miss out a potential friendshp with such a cool girl ... er woman.
:)
Looks like a very classy solution to a sticky situation. And you're right, the sooner the better.
Great blog, Polly. Nice to meet you!
The email is great, except leave out the "just my luck...." part. When you're cutting someone loose, it never goes over well to suggest in any way that you deserve sympathy.
honesty is the best policy, i think!
so, i guess, let it sit for a bit, until you feel better about whatever choice you make?
ah decisions!
I sure think it wouldn't hurt to continue dating both of them.
I think that was an excellent message.
I agree with Sandra that I think you shouldn't quite sever ties yet, but you are correct that earlier is usually better with these things. I do think that the email is good, but I think that you should tell him that rather than write him.
Hmm... you could offer to write the unsuccessful applicant a good reference ;-)
Incidentally, I agree entirely with O from Toronto.
I think it's a good e-mail, but much too long. As women, we like long, wordy explanations. Men don't. It's too much information. The more you write the more dramatic it seems. I would cut it down to a paragraph - and while the potential friendship is a nice gesture, no guy or gal will take you up on it.
I don't think you should cut anyone out until you get past the "three date fade" stage. (Although, we now know that even after numerous dates, it still happens...)
I think you're nuts. Haven't you known this guy for only a few days?
Start cutting out your other suitors after a month, at least. Or two months!
Hey,
I think if more women were as up front as you, then there'd be much less anxiety and stress in the world of man.
He won't want to lose you as a friend. Why? Because you've been honest with him; and joking aside, you're more likely to help him find a suitable date by being his friend.
I wish that more women, who I've had the misfortune of dating have chosen to be so up front. Indeed, it's refreshing.
And good luck with it all!
Anonymous: I am a man, and I disagree about "wordy explinations". More information is better. I should find it far more reassuring to know the full details in a set of circumstances like that than to be left wondering whether I'd done something awfully wrong.
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